Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
Randomize
