you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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