Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
Randomize
