Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Randomize
