everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
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