No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
I love having hate sex.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Randomize
