We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
