So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
