Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
The Olympian is in my bed
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