Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
