In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
