You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
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