My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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