out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Randomize
