My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
