I cut my penus on the lid.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Randomize
