Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
