can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Randomize
