i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
