glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Help me help you realize you are a moron
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Randomize
