i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Randomize
