i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Randomize
