i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Randomize
