My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
