She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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