so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Randomize
