Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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