I am spending my child support on dildos
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize
