i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
Randomize