if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
