PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
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