ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
