Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
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