come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
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