giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
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