So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
Randomize
