i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
