I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
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