Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Randomize
