All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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