ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
I just had sex on a roof
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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