a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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