why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Randomize
