that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
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