I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
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