What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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