Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
Blood and glitter go together right?
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
Randomize
