singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
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