So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
There's always time for handjobs
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
