didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Randomize
