quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
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