How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
