i permit you to call me
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Randomize
