some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
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