All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
