My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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