Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Randomize
