Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Congratulations! We have a period
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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