I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
