i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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