dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
