is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Randomize
