my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Randomize
