Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
